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From Carolina To The Catholicon

by Neon Cathedral

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about

Bishop Bartholomew Butts

From The Country To Constantinople

His story is an interesting one. He is a former southern baptist pastor turned Greek Orthodox priest, and now a Bishop.

When I say “southern” Baptist, you can capitalize the “S”. He was a full-on southern-fried, fire and brimstone type of preacher with a slick, televangelist-style glossy sheen about him. (His look can be described as the exact, central convergence point between Boss Hogg and Brother Love.)
There was a bit of a carnivalesque “traveling salesman” aspect to him. He seemed as likely to pitch you on an “Amazing New Wonder-Tonic” as he was on the Gospel. Though he had his own church, he loved to travel around the US of A and preach at anyone who would listen. He toured the country, putting on Billy Sunday type outdoor services and tent revivals.

Oh how Billy Butts loved his big tent revivals!

He was (and still is) fond of saying “I got a bit of the ‘billy in me! I’m countrified and southern-fried!”

At some point years ago he became disillusioned with the showy, consumerist televangelist brand of Christianity, and he wanted something more.

A season of soul searching later, he had discovered the Greek Orthodox/Anglican church and begun the process of conversion. Shortly after he commenced the process of becoming a priest. From there he attained the office of Bishop.

One of the interesting quirks about him is that, after becoming fully integrated into the Orthodox Church, he maintained his overall look.

lyrics

Well he's a man of taste, a man of grace
Got a makeup caked face, huckster's gaze
A bright white suit and cherry red face
A scion of truth for the human race (whoo)

Forever Reverend Bartholomew Butts
A rotund man with a salesman's touch
Pearly white teeth and a big ole smile
Serving his church with a lot of guile

Well he comes from a state in deep red south
Slicked back hair and words of fire
Brimstone preached even from the choir
A television preacher thorny as a briar (ouch)

Forever Reverend Bartholomew Butts
A rotund man with a salesman's touch
Pearly white teeth and showy strut
Says that he comes from a long line of Butts

Countryfied, country-fried

Well he led a church chock full of crazy nuts
Toured the country selling wonder drugs
Big tent revivals and carnival booths
A wonder tonic to replace gospel truth (shame)

Former Reverend Bartholomew Butts
A rotund man felt the Spirit's touch
Nearly fell flat right on his big butt
Decided to repent and pack the tents up

A rotund man felt the Spirit's touch
Nearly fell flat right on his big butt
Decided to repent and pack the tents up

Now he looked to the east and to the south
Checked the horizon and plotted his route
Seeking to find the Tradition's roots
He fell in love with Greek Orthodox truth (well dang)

Priest in training Bartholomew Butts
After his conversion he was in a rush
Moved up the ranks man he did make haste
Soon became a bishop, no time to waste

From Carolina to Catholicon
Sleazy charlatan turned orthodox
He changed his tune, but not his look
Priestly robes won't replace his suit

He is Bishop Bartholomew Butts
Eastern orthodox with a southern crush
High church style with a southern touch
The eastern church has now had enough

They asked him to leave but said, son wait up
There's a strange new sect of the Orthodox
With a link to an even weirder bunch
Talk to Lazzar he's the man in charge

Out of work Bishop Bartholomew Butts
Took a new office in the disco church
Didn't even have to do an interview first
Ole Saint Boogie saw his hunger and thirst

Here's our Bishop Bartholomew Butts
Greasy little man with a heathen front
A real Boss Hog with a touch of Brother Love
Now his whole life is turned right-side up

A bit of the 'billy in this ole Butt Butt
Bit of the 'billy in this ole Butt Butt
Countryfied, country-fried

credits

released March 19, 2024
Saint Boogie - Millard Monroe

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Neon Cathedral Cincinnati, Ohio

Neon Cathedral is a musical project I started, and is kind of a collective. Led by enigmatic front man Saint Boogie, it explores what happens when people of many different musical backgrounds encounter a mysterious disco church.

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